Crowley tries so hard to be a badass who isn’t thrown by anything, but my
god, we all know that isn’t true. Especially when a certain angel (and now
officially boyfriend) is involved. Unfortunately, Crowley’s sign when he loses
his cool is rather obvious – like, you know, involuntarily turning into a snake at the worst
possible moments:
Like the
one time he came into the bookshop to see Aziraphale carrying heavy books
around, cheeks reddened with an endearing blush and his sleeves rolled up so
his underarms were exposed – the angel looked positively indecent and once that
radiant smile was directed at Crowley, he found himself lying in a snake puddle
on the floor, having no idea what just happened
That one
time a customer had the audacity to try to flirt with Aziraphale – Crowley was
lurking behind the shelves and suddenly got very hissssy and yellow-eyed – it was
his great pleasure to chase the customer out of the bookshop and while
Aziraphale scolded him, he couldn’t hide his smug grin because he knew exactly
what prompted this reaction
The first
time Aziraphale held his hand while watching a movie in Crowley’s flat. The angel
had picked something nauseatingly romantic and Crowley had scoffed at first,
but when the first romantic scene came on, Aziraphale gently took the demon’s
hand in his and pressed a kiss on the back of his hand – Crowley didn’t stand a
chance and turned into a snake immediately. He was very embarrassed at first
and tried to hide behind the pillows, but Aziraphale picked him up and draped him
over his shoulders, making sure the serpent was comfortable
That one
time Crowley woke up firmly wrapped up in his angel’s arms, he felt so warm and
cosy like he’s never felt before and before he knew it, he was in his serpent
form and pressing himself even closer to Aziraphale who smiled warmly and put a
gentle kiss on the snake’s snout
The
first time Aziraphale gave him a blowjob. He’s particularly embarrassed of this
one and begged Aziraphale not to bring it up for at least a thousand years. But
when you spent the last six millennia pining for one angel and suddenly he’s so
focused on giving you pleasure – who can blame Crowley, really
Crowley
tends to turn into a snake when he’s very drunk. He always lounges dangerously
low on Aziraphale’s couch anyway and gets all hissy and wiggly when he has had
a few drinks, so more often than not does he find himself in his serpent form
when he wakes up the next morning
That one
time when Aziraphale hesitantly asked Crowley if he thought the angel was fat
and then he finally told him what Gabriel ordered him to do pre-apocalypse.
After Crowley had a quite spectacular hissy fit and actually looking terrifying
in his snake form, he spent the rest of the evening making sure the angel knew
exactly how much Crowley loved every inch of his body
Aziraphale
visited him in his old flat one day and brought him a rare plant he discovered
in a flower shop. He said it reminded him of Crowley and that it would fit
quite well into “his little Eden”. Crowley stared at the plant for ten seconds
with big, yellow eyes before turning into a snake and wrapped himself around
the flower pot, where he remained for a good few hours
The first
time they watched a scary movie in Crowley’s apartment. Aziraphale chose the
movie because Crowley once told him he was a big spooky fan, but Crowley ended
up shrieking and turning into a snake at the first jumpscare and he spent the
rest of the movie hidden under Aziraphale’s jumper, head occasionally peeking
out and wagging his tongue at the angel’s amused face
